3 strikes

It sure is a "new thing" out there, only outside of my little bubble of a life, things are not being renewed in a good way. I went out with 8 amazingly beautiful women, most of which I used to party with way back when I was a pip squeak and a totally invincible eighteen year old. I have barely seen the nightlife since then. However, last Saturday I think I got more then my fair share. It was enough to keep me from it until further notice.

First we went to a place that was described to me as a "1920s feel -type place," so I'm thinking, is that like super classy old-school feel? No, wrong. The Pussy Cat Dolls, is a place oozing with lust. It makes no apologies for the total sex-ified room and women prancing around in almost nothing and shaking all that was exposed in the lime-light on stage. I watched men obviously stare at these women, looking at them like they were 100% objects. Yuck, I hate witnessing that grossness coming out of men's eyes. All I could do was think about my girls and how badly I hoped they'd never be okay with being used like this and also wonder how on earth I was ever okay with doing it myself back when I was 18. I wondered how society's erosion happens so exponentially fast. Then I felt bad for what could have been partially participating in the normalcy of go-go dancing.

Next we went to a place that I hoped would be more like what I remembered back in the day; just people having a good time dancing. Instead it was mostly just a huge room with different levels of people standing around and drinking. Obviously I shouldn't be that surprised about the drinking, but that wasn't the only thing that was outside of my lifestyle and convictions. There right next to me, again, so obviously done, a group of people were smoking weed. I remembered my sister telling me that this happens in clubs now because if a group of people are going to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on bottles, they're going to get to do what they want and the owner will look the other way. But how did this happen in just about 7 or 8 years since I was out there? (Yes, I know, my party phase was younger then most's). Then I remembered that two states now have legalized the recreational use of marijuana.

On the way home we stopped one last time at the local Poway pub. And for those of you who don't know Poway, a small town with a small town pub is going to be exactly like you would expect. A mostly older crowd, everyone visibly more drunk then even your down-town dancers, just sitting there in total silence minus the loud music consisting of random old songs. But then, there's movement. Coming from a the fumbling bodies of a few young men and they move towards the few older women left in the bar at the late hour of 1:30am. I see all of them flirt uninhibitedly, clearly comforted by a lot of liquid courage. Liquid courage that takes them from that table or bar stool to each other's arms, then each other's lips, then they leave in pairs all within fifteen minutes after the exchange begins. Wow, I think to myself in disgust, for a third time that evening. I was hurting for these people who couldn't possibly be willing to do such things without something sad going on inside of them.

I think I must have described now the 3 strikes that made me "out" of the game. Even for my sincere love of dancing, even for the natural little wild goofy girl in me, even for my real need for time to let lose from the extremely demanding life I live of a single mother, I CAN NOT be out there watching this. It's not that I want to be unrealistic, and I'm not in denial as I cuddle with the cozy bubble walls. This bubble is actually a lot more dangerous considering I actually have to rely on faith that my endurance through this difficult time is going to take me to a place of fulfillment that will carry me through a much longer time then one evening of distraction here and there. It's not a comfortable place to embrace a time of loneliness, going day by day on an unseen hope that God knows what I need more then I do. But this verse has never lost it's power: Romans 5:3-5
"...also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.