Last night the words, "It's like the opposite of getting divorced," came out of my mouth at connect group in reference to how enjoyable this new journey is for me. My wonderful sisters all looked at me with smiles on their faces saying things like, "you were made for this," and "you're going to be a fantastic Doula." It meant the world to know that other people can see the same things I'm feeling; that this is me doing the right thing at the right time and God is so in it.
And man is God in it! I just got out of my Doula training on March 11th, that's 9 days ago, but already I have an interview with a mom tomorrow and another on Saturday. It absolutely FILLS my heart up with so much joy imagining being able to witness the miracle of birth for these women. I haven't even gone one night since class without dreaming about something to do with childbirth or my Doula role. I wake up excited about it, go throughout my day brainstorming what else I can do in preparation for these mommas, and lay down feeling at total peace about the future. And that is the opposite of getting divorced.
"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy," Psalm 30:11.
There is no one like God, no one who can turn something intended for so much pain and really work it out for the good like he does. I know that I had to mourn and deal and heal through what I've been through to get to a place like this. I know that Its taken so much perseverance, trust, and faith that God would pull me out of such a difficult place... but I'm telling you, it's him who deserves the highest praise. There's no "secret" to an abundant life, no complicated formula to success or love or peace and happiness on this earth. There's no ritual, no repeated prayer, no amount of mental strength or emotional will power, there's no counselor or therapist, no drug and no drink that can do what God can do with our lives. And there is no reason except that he loves us with such a great love that no one could grasp which inspired the sacrifice Christ made on the cross. To God be the glory for his promises:
"to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3
